Top 10 Things That Make Me Happy
For a good part of my pre-menopausal self, making it a priority to do things that made me happy was rare. Obligations, responsibilities, and guilt overshadowed what lit me up, and sometimes I forgot what things I liked.
Now, I make it a daily mission to push at least some of these happy buttons. As a result, my husband and kids get to see a more fulfilled, authentic me. I’m pretty sure they’re liking it, but I know it’s what I’ve needed all along…
Laughter
I love the way my entire body warms and shakes when someone or something gives me the giggles. A scene in a movie, a corny joke, a comedian, a funny neighbor, family or friend. It doesn’t take much, but I do love to laugh and that’s a good thing. Apparently it’s a bonus stress-reliever too.
In addition to immediately lightening a mood, the short term physical benefits open pathways for long term effects as well:
release of endorphins
increase oxygen intake
stimulate circulation
relax muscle tension
When I laugh I feel lighter, cope better, heal faster, and usually am able to see the world for what it is: simple, strange, silly, yet still an incredibly great place to be.
2. Power of Touch
I’m not sure I fully understood the power of the human touch before massage entered my life. But since, it’s become the third most vital necessity in my daily consumption next to breathing oxygen and drinking water. Being touched in a positive, healthy manner grounds us in a way words and music and food just can’t compete. It brings our wandering spirit or restless mind back to present - the moment, the now we need to focus on instead of flailing about.
When I say I need to be touched on a daily basis, I mean a hug, a handshake, peck on the check, a snuggle or even an occasional knee weakening kiss. Sure, I’ll take a massage if it’s offered too, but the point is the same: I need to feel grounded, protected, nurtured and wanted.
Maybe it’s because someday, after I’m dead, none of these things will matter, but while I’m here, I want to feel every single one of them as fully and passionately as I possibly can.
“Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language, and the last, and it always tells the truth.”
3. Nature
If someone gave me $100 I’d probably spend it on another plant or flower. But I know myself and my relationship with nature to be a healthy and harmonious one. I give it life and its life gives me perspective.
No matter how I’m feeling - sad or angry, content or overjoyed - I always feel better when nature is nearby: a tree, shrub, flower, or even a weed. And if I’m in a jam and no greenery is in site, an earthy pile of dirt or mud to dip my feet into will do.
I feel balance. I feel connected to something richer and more in tune.
I suppose when I sit and really think about what it is about plant-life that makes me so happy it’s the comfort in knowing we share a common thread. Each of us have the privilege of being born into this planet, some of us get to live a little while, but always we must return to the dust from which our bodies were formed.
To me that’s beautiful enough, but the joy and peace it brings, I’m not willing to trade it for all the money in the world…
4. Family
For as much as I complain about motherhood and parenting, I really love spending time with my family. They’re funny, quirky, and interesting (most of the time). My husband gives me comfort and relief when I need it most. My eldest, he gives the best hugs and says the sweetest things if I listen closely. My middle keeps me centered and reminds me of what it was like to be wild and free. And my youngest, well, he’s just plain silly 99% of the time. Maybe that’s what I’m supposed to learn from him. How to take life less seriously.
The joy I get from watching my offspring grow and morph into their own independent selves can be heartbreaking some days, but it also offers me a feeling of complete peace in knowing I’ve done my best to raise them to be the confident, inquisitive, and compassionate human beings they truly are.
I’m happy to be with my kids for this short stint of their young lives. I’m happy I get to be their mom. But selfishly, I’m happy I feel happy when I’m around them.
“A mother’s love endures through all.”
5. Friends
If I were a hermit I’d have to be one with a landline. I talk to at least one of my friends once a week. Hearing their voices and stories and exchanging words of encouragement and support is something I count on nearly every day. Talking to them brings out the best in me - the loving, funny, chatty girl that often gets replaced by a tired, boring, grumpy lady if I’m not careful.
Good friends are hard to find, but I recommend seeking them out nonetheless. I’m picky but am grateful for the few deep rooted friendships I’ve made over the years. I’ll forever be indebted to the happiness they’ve given, but I’ll die happily being in debt to friendship.
The value of girlfriends and building your own sisterhood is priceless.
6. Music
Each morning before I start my walks, I plug in my headphones and outdated iPod. I listen to the tunes that pump me up and get my legs moving. I listen to songs that exemplify my emotions or assuage my pain.
Good music is subjective, but I love listening to good music a little each day. It’s something only I can break down and translate what it means to me in the moment. It gives me strength when I’m feeling down, energy when I need a pick-me-up, and a shoulder to lean on when I’m nothing but a ball of soggy tears.
Music is a powerful sound. It hears and heals and feels all things. But mostly, it just makes me happy.
7. traveling
I’m pretty sure my ancestors were nomads or voyagers of some sort. Few things get me quite as excited as exploring a new country or landscape. I usually bypass the tourist attractions and avoid denser parts of the metros though.
A new place for me is all about learning new cultures and community dynamics. I want to know the similarities and differences in the environments. I want to see the beauty and ugly up close and personal.
And the thrill I get from traveling isn’t just while I’m there. I bottle up my memories of each adventure and reflect on the trip for years - sometimes decades - later. Ask me about my visit to Africa in 2008. I’m pretty sure I left a piece of my heart in Botswana.
“Traveling is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”
8. Food
Some of my biggest celebrity crushes have been those of chefs on the Food Network. Something about a man that can prepare a delicious yet artistic meal gets me a little hot and bothered; and happiness comes in a variety of types and sizes right?
Anyway, food might be essential to our physical selves, but to my emotional self it’s of equal importance. Tasting a flavorful meal for me is therapeutic and cathartic in many ways so I’ll savor the smallest bites as long as my pallet will allow. And sometimes if I’m lucky, that memory will carry my tastebuds through some of my worst left-over or PB&J meals.
9. Learning
Astrology Alert! I’m a full fledged Sagittarius, so learning something new is just part of my astrological DNA. I geek out about history and lit, am swooned by foreign languages and accents, and could die a happy centaur as a fixture in nearly every university lecture hall.
I love learning new things, so I don’t have to be bored or feel like a teacher in a world of students. Besides, learning gives me a chance to explore something I didn’t know before. And maybe even shut my chatty mouth for a change…
10. Writing
Aside from my children and dogs, each morning when I wake up I think about the next free moment I’ll have to write. It doesn’t matter what - blogs, my novel, editing someone else’s work. I just love words. They make me feel understood and round out my otherwise pokier-than-I’d-like edges.
And though there are definitely times I wonder what the hell I’m even writing for:
What if no one reads my stuff?
What if no one gets me?
I remind myself this painful truth: I read my work. I get me. And as I’m gaining more traction in my menopause journey, I’m learning that’s all that should ever matter…
There they are. My simple, but honest Top 10. Now it’s your turn…
what makes you happy?
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